Behind the Curtain of Childcare Facebook Groups: What No One Tells You

With sites like Care.com becoming more unreliable by the day and agency fees often far outside a family’s budget, it’s no surprise that local Facebook groups have become the go-to resource for finding childcare. In areas like the Bay Area and Los Angeles, some of these groups have tens of thousands of members, offering a seemingly endless pool of potential nannies, sitters, and advice.

But not all groups are created equal.

Behind the cheerful posts, family photos, and requests for help are some important red flags that every parent should know before diving in. As a career nanny, childcare coach, and someone who has been both a group member and moderator over the years, I’ve seen firsthand how these groups operate—and it’s not always in the best interest of families or providers.

Popular Doesn’t Always Mean Helpful

Some of the most popular groups boast tens of thousands of members and have even launched spin-offs in other cities. On the surface, they appear to be buzzing, active communities full of helpful advice and quality matches.

However, popularity often comes with over-moderation, gatekeeping, and hidden paywalls. Many of these large groups are run more like businesses than communities. It’s not uncommon for administrators to charge hundreds of dollars per month for businesses or professionals to post, even if the goal is simply to educate or offer guidance to struggling families.

While charging for advertising isn’t a new concept, the vibe in these spaces can quickly shift from community to competition, especially when transparency is lacking. The result? Families are left without proper support, and professionals are pushed out for offering help without paying.

Why I No Longer Recommend Some of These Groups

Over the years, I’ve been frequently tagged in parent posts by families and nannies looking for support in various Facebook groups across the US. I wasn’t promoting my guide or services—I was offering free, professional advice during my off hours, because people who trusted my expertise knew I could help.

But even this kind of support was often met with resistance and considered competition to group admins. I received warnings for commenting, even when I was simply answering questions or correcting misinformation. To the dismay of a lot of parents and nannies, I was removed from the largest Bay Area group entirely after offering my professional opinion that the admins of the group didn't agree with. This is the same group that's constantly going viral on Reddit for unrealistic job listings and censorship by nannies.

Meanwhile, job postings in these groups are rarely reviewed or moderated unless they violate a basic pay rule (usually something like $20/hour minimum or mimumum wage). While this sounds helpful in theory, the going rate for nannies in areas like the Bay Area is typically $30–$50/hour—so that $20 minimum isn’t keeping things fair, it’s lowering the bar.

Professionals Are Often Silenced

What’s even more troubling is that childcare professionals, agencies, and advocates are often banned or blocked for doing the very thing that benefits parents most: speaking up about industry standards.

In many of these groups, the rules prohibit “unsolicited advice.” For nannies, that means commenting on posts about underpaid jobs or unrealistic expectations can get you flagged or banned. Often nannies are told to "keep scrolling if the job post isn't up to your standards." Meanwhile, the post itself—offering far below-market rates or expecting 60-hour weeks with no benefits—stays up, unchallenged.

It’s a backwards system that punishes transparency and discourages support. And when that kind of environment exists, it’s the parents and children who suffer the most.

Parents Are Left on Their Own

These Facebook groups rarely provide educational resources or onboarding materials to help parents understand how to hire safely and ethically. There’s no consensus on contracts, interviews, background checks, or what’s appropriate in terms of duties and pay. With thousands of conflicting opinions and no guidance from leadership, many families are left overwhelmed, unsure, and sometimes misled.

If you’re a first-time parent trying to find care, this can feel like a chaotic, unsupervised free-for-all—and in many ways, it is. Unless you already know what you're looking for and how to vet a nanny properly, it’s easy to make costly mistakes.

Facebook Childcare Groups I Do Recommend

The good news? There are great Facebook groups out there that foster respectful conversations, uplift professionals, and actually help parents find quality care. These groups don’t rely on gatekeeping or fear tactics. Instead, they prioritize safety, education, and support for everyone involved.

Below are some of the Facebook childcare groups I personally recommend based on location. These groups tend to be more transparent, welcoming to professionals, and supportive of both parents and providers.

Sacramento Area

• Babysitter Network for Sacramento and Surrounding Area

• Babysitters and Childcare of Folsom

• Sacramento Babysitting and Daycare

• Babysitters of Amador - El Dorado

• Sacramento Nanny Support Group - Nannies Only
  

Bay Area

• SF Bay Area Nanny Jobs

• TM: Childcare Network

• SF Bay Area Childcare and Family Ethical Connections

Other States

• Parents, Nannies, Babysitters: Newport, Rhode Island Area

• Nannies with Kids - A Group Specifically for Nanny Moms

  
  

If you're in a different area and would like help finding a reputable local group, feel free to reach out. I'm always happy to help connect parents with vetted, reliable resources.

So What Can Parents Do Instead?

If you’re starting your childcare search, here are a few ways to protect yourself and get the help you need—whether or not you use Facebook groups:

• Follow trusted childcare professionals on Instagram, TikTok, or blogs. Many of us post free, up-to-date advice regularly.

• Look for groups or pages that emphasize education, not just classifieds.

• Ask specific questions and review the rules when joining a group: Do they allow discussions about wages? Do they have pinned resources or hiring checklists?

• Book a childcare consultation if you’re unsure where to start. A quick call can save you hours of stress and help you avoid common pitfalls. You can do so right here.

• Don’t rely on one source—use a combination of platforms, referrals, and professional help if possible.
  

Final Thoughts

There’s nothing wrong with joining local groups to explore your options. But be aware of how these communities operate—and know that bigger doesn’t always mean better. If the group discourages education, silences providers, or seems more interested in making money than helping families, it’s okay to walk away.

At the end of the day, finding the right nanny isn’t just about a job posting—it’s about knowing what to ask, what to expect, and who to trust. You deserve a space that supports that process, not one that makes it harder.